Airships, death rays, tentacles…and puns. So many puns.
Greetings, lovers of fine literature!
Sorry you blundered onto the wrong site.
You’ll have to settle for near-death hilarity, snarky talking swords, and poop monsters.
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My new historical swashbuckler is now available!
Captain Treville, the commander of the famed Three Musketeers, was young once. So was d’Artagnan’s father. This is the action-packed story of how they met.
March, 1605. When Jean Treville, ace spy for King Henri IV, is ambushed by mysterious assailants in the Spanish Netherlands, a young Gascon named Bertrand d’Artagnan comes from nowhere to rescue him. They disguise themselves to infiltrate the shadowy terrorist group that attacked Treville. The Manqué is an unholy alliance of radical Catholics and Protestants intending to upend the European balance of power through a spectacularly violent demonstration. If they are not stopped, an apocalyptic war will enflame Europe.
Treville and d’Artagnan must overcome silver-nosed assassins, gunpowder bombs, mass sword battles, and the spy in King Henri’s court who seems to always be a step ahead of them.
Rapiers & Rogues is an old-fashioned swashbuckler in the mold of Rafael Sabatini and Arturo Pérez-Reverte, full of exciting sword duels, royal intrigue, and witty banter.
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Guess who’s in the audiobook narration business now?
(click the image to go to all of the audio projects)
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Winner of the Colorado Gold Literary Award for Speculative Fiction.
Available NOW on Kindle and in paperback.
Paragon of the Eccentric trailer.
Tentacled hookers, male impersonators, Dr. Moreau vs. Oscar Wilde, genetically-modified assassins, ornithopter dogfights, blood-sucking aliens, murderous automatons, and Steampunk gadgetry galore!
What if the Martians in War of the Worlds had help…human help?
When he is attacked by ferocious beast-men and a ray gun-wielding aviator while aiding a tentacled prostitute, Shakespearean actor and government agent Montague Paragon knows something weird and threatening is afoot.
Does it involve the mysterious Dr. Moreau and his fiendish genetic experiments? Why are winged gargoyles abducting people in broad daylight? Who killed a corrupt Member of Parliament with black smoke? What are the deadly little tripods that are stalking Paragon with heat rays? What secret is the saintly Dr. Jekyll keeping? And how is all of this connected to the small cylinders falling from space?
Wounded in body and mind by the Zulu War and a dreadful childhood experience, Paragon must overcome his many demons on the way to saving the world…again. With his partners, Aesthete author Oscar Wilde and famed male impersonator Vesta Tilley, along with his oh-so-proper brass valet Mervyn, he ventures into a shadow world of human traitors aiding an unimaginably foreign enemy in the subjugation of mankind.
At the top of Paragon’s worries: is the impossibly-seductive Lady Ambergris Kalmaar as helpful as she seems, or is she leading him by the trousers into a deadly trap?
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My story “The Day the Earth Couldn’t Stand Still,” a hilarious account of the inevitable robot apocalypse, featuring Broadway musical-loving nanobots, just won the Colorado Short Story Contest! Woo-hoo! (yes, $ did come my way)
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I’m now the proud owner of a certified pre-owned heart (!)
It was a complete surprise and no fun.
But at least I got a book out of it.
Buy on Amazon (Kindle or paperback)
ALL proceeds benefit organ donor charities.
HeartSnark was a finalist in Humor at the 2020 Next Generation Indie Awards.
It’s also a finalist at this year’s Reader’s Choice Awards, in Memoir
My story “Outside the Realm of Time” (golem vs. zombies in 1899 Denver) appeared in this Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers anthology, a finalist for the Colorado Book Award. That makes 3 out of the past 4 anthologies that I’ve been in, and 2 of those were finalists or winners of the CPA.
My story in this one, “Nergali Orphan,” is The War of the Worlds told by a Martian soldier, about the terrible choice she has to make when she discovers she is not on a mission of peace.
2017 Colorado Book Award for Best Anthology
My story here is “Lonely Crutch”, imagining the result if Marley’s ghost visited Tiny Tim first.
Colorado Book Award finalist.
I now have a YouTube channel, MrShakespeareReads, where I recite all 154 of Shakespeare’s sonnets as Shakespeare, in full doublet and ruff (as one does).
I have 4 essays about Victorian-era violence/self-defense in this anthology.
Please visit the Archived Blogs page for my memorial to author and best friend M.M. Bennetts.
My Steampunk novel Paragon of the Eccentric won the Colorado Gold contest (Speculative Fiction category) sponsored by Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers. It’s being shopped to agents/editors as we speak. Thanks to the judges and all who supported it.
It also won the Incite Denver contest for best opening line:
“When a Whitechapel whore waves her tentacles at you, attention must be paid.”
My play West was the first piece of fiction ever published in The Fight Master (the journal of the Society of American Fight Directors).
Terry Kroenung 